The juiceman from del monte he say..... ....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a unanimous yes! They were very impressed with our commitment to the children and how much we have lived and breathed them in the last year. We have handed over the DVD and introductions books and the social workers loved them! They think they will be great and the children's social worker said she can't wait to start working with the oldest one to prepare him for meeting us. We are just overwhelmed with emotion and relief! Mungo says I can now go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I would say you don't know how much we have wanted this but I doubt there is a single soul reading this who doesn't know our story and I think you all know how we feel right now! I say again what I said in my last post, thanks to everyone who has supported us in one way or another. Signing off a relieved and extremely happy mary and mungo who are now parents!!!
Friday, 9 April 2010
Thursday, 8 April 2010
08-Apr 2010
Today we got a phone call from our social worker to say the birth family had moved from our town back to the town where the children come from - so they aren't two miles away like we were told! we are over the moon and sooooooo relieved. that was the one thing we were very worried that the panel might defer or say no about. She also said that intros have been put back by a week so we wont be meeting them until 27th or after. Grrr... Not very happy about that but hey it gives us more time to SHOP!
We have also been told that we WILL get an adoption allowance, a settling-in grant and they are considering a lump sum payment too! This is more than what we expected so we are very happy indeed! It means that I will not have to go back to work as soon as we had expected. This will only serve to help the children attach and settle in much better and defer any money worries for longer making us happier bunnies - wooo hooo!
We have today finished the introductions books and the DVD (eek!) Mungo is finalising the DVD and could be up a while! I did the introductions book, it was the Tomy Talking Photo Album and is fantastic for children of all ages. i did one for each child, named the books so they know whose is whose and we took it in turns to record the messaged with each of the eight photos, so they can get used to our voices. We did pictures of:
- Mary and mungo by the front door
- The outside of the house
- Us in the kitchen / diner eating breakfast
- Us in the lounge watching the fish tank
- Us in the garden playing with toys
- Us in the bathroom with their names in sponge letter on the bath
- Their new granny and granddad playing in the park
- A close-up of us - so they can see mary's spots and mungo's warts lol
Each of the pictures is slightly different so their books are unique to each child and in total they all have 18 photos of us. We also bought a little individual toy for each of them and they are in most of the photos too. I even crocheted scarves for the toys and embroidered the children's initials on the scarves so they know whose toy is whose. The toys will be their presents to them when we meet them for the first time! The DVD followed a similar format to the pictures but without the grandparents.
I am still a bit fazed by everything that has happened and I don't feel that I can relax. I think it's all the problems we have faced to get to this day. And many, many times I never thought we would. It hasn't been without its struggles and downright despair too many times. but through everything all our cyber friends - that's you! - all have kept us going.
Here is a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has been there for us, who has supported us and has cried with us. To everyone who has commented on our blog, sent cyber hugs / choc / wine, to everyone who has wished us well and given us advice, who has been in the dark with us and who has yippeed when things went right - this goes to you: THANK YOU!!!
We seriously couldn't have got to today - or tomorrow - without you all. So it's time to switch off the lappy and try to get an early night's sleep, ha ha!
We have also been told that we WILL get an adoption allowance, a settling-in grant and they are considering a lump sum payment too! This is more than what we expected so we are very happy indeed! It means that I will not have to go back to work as soon as we had expected. This will only serve to help the children attach and settle in much better and defer any money worries for longer making us happier bunnies - wooo hooo!
We have today finished the introductions books and the DVD (eek!) Mungo is finalising the DVD and could be up a while! I did the introductions book, it was the Tomy Talking Photo Album and is fantastic for children of all ages. i did one for each child, named the books so they know whose is whose and we took it in turns to record the messaged with each of the eight photos, so they can get used to our voices. We did pictures of:
- Mary and mungo by the front door
- The outside of the house
- Us in the kitchen / diner eating breakfast
- Us in the lounge watching the fish tank
- Us in the garden playing with toys
- Us in the bathroom with their names in sponge letter on the bath
- Their new granny and granddad playing in the park
- A close-up of us - so they can see mary's spots and mungo's warts lol
Each of the pictures is slightly different so their books are unique to each child and in total they all have 18 photos of us. We also bought a little individual toy for each of them and they are in most of the photos too. I even crocheted scarves for the toys and embroidered the children's initials on the scarves so they know whose toy is whose. The toys will be their presents to them when we meet them for the first time! The DVD followed a similar format to the pictures but without the grandparents.
I am still a bit fazed by everything that has happened and I don't feel that I can relax. I think it's all the problems we have faced to get to this day. And many, many times I never thought we would. It hasn't been without its struggles and downright despair too many times. but through everything all our cyber friends - that's you! - all have kept us going.
Here is a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has been there for us, who has supported us and has cried with us. To everyone who has commented on our blog, sent cyber hugs / choc / wine, to everyone who has wished us well and given us advice, who has been in the dark with us and who has yippeed when things went right - this goes to you: THANK YOU!!!
We seriously couldn't have got to today - or tomorrow - without you all. So it's time to switch off the lappy and try to get an early night's sleep, ha ha!
Monday, 29 March 2010
29-Mar 2010
We had a meeting with out social worker this morning and she was of the opinion that all would be well, that panel MAY have questions about it and that it is her and the childrens' social worker's job to convince them that we have investigated all possible avenues and that we are okay with it. The thing is we are not, we are still unsure but we at least are thinking the same. These ARE OUR CHILDREN and we will do whatever we can to ensure that we adopt them and we have to convince everyone that we CAN manage the situation.
The paperwork was completed and signed off ready for panel in eleven days. We are going to spend the time finishing off lists of things to buy and working on the DVD and introductions books.
The paperwork was completed and signed off ready for panel in eleven days. We are going to spend the time finishing off lists of things to buy and working on the DVD and introductions books.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
25-Mar 2010
We had a phone call from our social worker later yesterday to say that the paperwork for matching panel needs to be back to the Local Authority by Monday afternoon so she has re-scheduled our meeting for Monday morning, not Tuesday morning. And the most important piece of paperwork that we have to give our best attention to will have to be completed in two hours. So the 10 days we are supposed to get have disappeared into the ether. Apparently they 'forgot' to send the paperwork to our social worker and were chasing her up on it. She said well it would be nice to be able to send it back to you but we haven't had it in the first place! Not very happy, this happened to us for approval panel too, grrrr....
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
24-Mar 2010
Mungo phoned our social worker after hearing nothing and she was very matter of fact about it and said it was manageable. she hadn't heard from children's s/w who was going to speak with bf yesterday and then going to call her so its all gone a bit flat. So I sent an email to our s/w asking lots of questions and she rang me saying she's going to meet with us on Tuesday and get either the children's s/w or the family finding s/w to come out and talk to us about it.
Both our and their social workers don't seem that bothered - probably because they can smell the money! but who knows what panel might think and who knows if we think we can manage it on a daily basis? no-one seems bothered about that! So I'm still confused and not really sure what's happening now, Mungo is very dubious about the whole thing too. Urgh.
We have received and sent back the forms for means testing. The LA that we are applying through do not automatically give out an adoption allowance even for three siblings so they means-test you. You basically have to give every piece of financial information to them for them to decide whether you will get anything. It could range from a few pounds a week to hundreds and will continue until the children are 18, in full time education or until your circumstances change. We are not expecting to get anything but if you don't ask you don't get, so we shall see.
Both our and their social workers don't seem that bothered - probably because they can smell the money! but who knows what panel might think and who knows if we think we can manage it on a daily basis? no-one seems bothered about that! So I'm still confused and not really sure what's happening now, Mungo is very dubious about the whole thing too. Urgh.
We have received and sent back the forms for means testing. The LA that we are applying through do not automatically give out an adoption allowance even for three siblings so they means-test you. You basically have to give every piece of financial information to them for them to decide whether you will get anything. It could range from a few pounds a week to hundreds and will continue until the children are 18, in full time education or until your circumstances change. We are not expecting to get anything but if you don't ask you don't get, so we shall see.
Monday, 22 March 2010
22-Mar 2010
Today we saw the Medical Advisor from the Local Authority where the children are placed. It is their job to assess all the medical reports and provide their opinion as to what medical issues there are and may be in the future. They can advise what practical steps can be taken to assist children and yourselves in dealing with children's issues. In our case, there is very little additional support that we might need and there was certainly nothing brought up that we didn't already know about. In fact, most of the talk was about how we are going to be able to cope practically in the first few weeks and how our local Health Visitor and GP might be able to assist. It was certainly a fascinating and very informative discussion. The children's social worker and our social worker were there too and they were all so supportive and helpful. It was a lovely meeting.
As the meeting came to an end, the children's social worker advised us that it had just been notified to them in the last few days that a birth family member lives two miles away from us. At the moment we don't know how often they are in contact with the family and when they last saw the children. We don't know whether or how often the birth family member they are connected to comes over to visit. We don't know if the children might recognise these people or if they might recognise the children. We therefore don't know how this may have to be managed in the future.
We always knew that the would is a small place and that there is always the possibility that we might bump into birth family anywhere at any time, even if we were at the opposite ends if the country. But we felt that being as far away as we are, not hundreds of miles away, but still far enough, would drastically reduce the possibilities of an accidental meeting. Now we have the potential of our own town not being far enough away. We also have to weigh up the reality of bumping into them - how often do you bump into people you know in town? As it happens, we don't go there very often but it was one of the places I was going to take the children regularly, as something to do. There are also public parks and children's play centres that might be out of bounds because these people have a child of a similar age.
One thing that will come out of it is that we were happy to send the birth parents photos of the children as part of annual letter-box contact. So that will be a definite no, because they might show the photos to the birth family and ask them to look out for them. This is on top of the fact that they might post them onto Facebook or any other internet site and get people to look for them. The risk is too great.
This is a big, big issue and could potentially be a show-stopper - what you might call a 'curved ball'. So we have to really think this through and decide where to go with this, our social worker might suggest we break it off - in fact that's the first thing she said after they had gone, that we had the option to pull out now. Of course, the decision might be taken out of our hands as we don't know yet how Social Services will react in terms of whether the link should continue and whether panel will approve the match because of it.
At the moment I can't see a good way for this to end. Signing off, a very cross and sad Mary.
As the meeting came to an end, the children's social worker advised us that it had just been notified to them in the last few days that a birth family member lives two miles away from us. At the moment we don't know how often they are in contact with the family and when they last saw the children. We don't know whether or how often the birth family member they are connected to comes over to visit. We don't know if the children might recognise these people or if they might recognise the children. We therefore don't know how this may have to be managed in the future.
We always knew that the would is a small place and that there is always the possibility that we might bump into birth family anywhere at any time, even if we were at the opposite ends if the country. But we felt that being as far away as we are, not hundreds of miles away, but still far enough, would drastically reduce the possibilities of an accidental meeting. Now we have the potential of our own town not being far enough away. We also have to weigh up the reality of bumping into them - how often do you bump into people you know in town? As it happens, we don't go there very often but it was one of the places I was going to take the children regularly, as something to do. There are also public parks and children's play centres that might be out of bounds because these people have a child of a similar age.
One thing that will come out of it is that we were happy to send the birth parents photos of the children as part of annual letter-box contact. So that will be a definite no, because they might show the photos to the birth family and ask them to look out for them. This is on top of the fact that they might post them onto Facebook or any other internet site and get people to look for them. The risk is too great.
This is a big, big issue and could potentially be a show-stopper - what you might call a 'curved ball'. So we have to really think this through and decide where to go with this, our social worker might suggest we break it off - in fact that's the first thing she said after they had gone, that we had the option to pull out now. Of course, the decision might be taken out of our hands as we don't know yet how Social Services will react in terms of whether the link should continue and whether panel will approve the match because of it.
At the moment I can't see a good way for this to end. Signing off, a very cross and sad Mary.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
15-Mar 2010
The meeting on Friday went very well indeed. We met the foster carer and Midge's nursery school teacher. They had loads to tell us and answered all our questions. The teacher brought Midge's file with her of all the work he has done since he has been there and we got to see lots of photos of him doing his work and seeing how he writes his name. We even got to keep a copy of the DVD - which we are not allowed to have but I think they have taken pity on us as the process has taken so long!
It was great to finally meet the foster carer and for her to share stories with us of what they are like. It really feels like it is all falling into place and the children are more real than they have ever been. I watched the DVD four times in a row when we got home!
When the meeting finished we had to be 'escorted' out the back of the building because birth Mum arrived at the front of the building for her meeting with them! Our social worker has given us approximate dates for introductions, which are likely to start as soon as 11 days after matching panel. You have to wait up to 10 days for the Decision marker to make their final decision before introductions can start. So we could have them permanently home with us by the first week in May! When we got home we felt so high and like it was all coming together at last!
It was great to finally meet the foster carer and for her to share stories with us of what they are like. It really feels like it is all falling into place and the children are more real than they have ever been. I watched the DVD four times in a row when we got home!
When the meeting finished we had to be 'escorted' out the back of the building because birth Mum arrived at the front of the building for her meeting with them! Our social worker has given us approximate dates for introductions, which are likely to start as soon as 11 days after matching panel. You have to wait up to 10 days for the Decision marker to make their final decision before introductions can start. So we could have them permanently home with us by the first week in May! When we got home we felt so high and like it was all coming together at last!
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