We have been potentially linked with a sibling group of three! Woo hoo!
We had a linking meeting on 7th July and our social worker said they would be 'bonkers' not to go with us :D
We received the call on 9th July and it was a YES! All systems are go go go!! We are now officially linked! We will be meeting the Local Authority's medical adviser on 27th July.
As requested by the children's social workers, we have stopped family-finding, as have they :D
A court case was heard where the birth family now have a plan that does not include adoption and the courts have asked for assessments to be carried out. As the plan is stronger than the one they previously had, there is no certainty of the outcome. The next court hearing is February. We have decided that, due to time scales and the now uncertain outcome, to pull out. Our and the childrens' social workers fully support our decision. Back to square one.
Friday, 31 July 2009
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Stop
Stop offering me a blanket, when I feel icy cold
Stop making me feel young at heart, when I feel frail and old
Stop hugging me with tender arms, when I am oh so sad
Stop soothing me with gentle words, when I am raging mad
Stop putting pieces together, when I have to fall apart
Stop making friends with me, when we are miles apart
Stop giving me the strength I need, when I feel so very weak
Stop showing me the glowing map, when the road ahead is bleak
Stop guiding and protecting me, when I lose my way
Stop reminding me why I am here, when I want to call it a day
Stop pulling away the darkness, when I can’t find a light
Stop being there for each of us, in the middle of the night
Stop understanding everything, that no-one else could know
Stop quieting and calming, when I feel like I could blow
Stop building all those bridges, when I’ve never seen your face
Stop forgiving all my ranting, when I forget my poise and grace
Stop showing your compassion, when I grieve for what is lost
Stop checking to see if I’m okay, when I feel I’m not worth the cost
Stop giving me your counsel, when I don’t know where to turn
Stop reaching out that lifeline, when I want to fall and burn
Stop telling me of your great times, which make me cry with joy
Stop regaling me with stories, of your forever girl or boy
Stop cheering and applauding me, when I am really glad
Stop sending me best wishes, when DH is now a Dad
Stop celebrating and rejoicing, when baby’s at my chest
Stop calling me Mum or Mummy, when my children say it best
Stop selfless deeds; stop being kind, just stop for once and all
Just don’t stop your humanity; don’t let it stop at all
This is for all my friends on the Adoption UK message boards xxx
Stop making me feel young at heart, when I feel frail and old
Stop hugging me with tender arms, when I am oh so sad
Stop soothing me with gentle words, when I am raging mad
Stop putting pieces together, when I have to fall apart
Stop making friends with me, when we are miles apart
Stop giving me the strength I need, when I feel so very weak
Stop showing me the glowing map, when the road ahead is bleak
Stop guiding and protecting me, when I lose my way
Stop reminding me why I am here, when I want to call it a day
Stop pulling away the darkness, when I can’t find a light
Stop being there for each of us, in the middle of the night
Stop understanding everything, that no-one else could know
Stop quieting and calming, when I feel like I could blow
Stop building all those bridges, when I’ve never seen your face
Stop forgiving all my ranting, when I forget my poise and grace
Stop showing your compassion, when I grieve for what is lost
Stop checking to see if I’m okay, when I feel I’m not worth the cost
Stop giving me your counsel, when I don’t know where to turn
Stop reaching out that lifeline, when I want to fall and burn
Stop telling me of your great times, which make me cry with joy
Stop regaling me with stories, of your forever girl or boy
Stop cheering and applauding me, when I am really glad
Stop sending me best wishes, when DH is now a Dad
Stop celebrating and rejoicing, when baby’s at my chest
Stop calling me Mum or Mummy, when my children say it best
Stop selfless deeds; stop being kind, just stop for once and all
Just don’t stop your humanity; don’t let it stop at all
This is for all my friends on the Adoption UK message boards xxx
Monday, 27 July 2009
21-Jul to 27-July
Family-finding:
We have been officially linked with a sibling group of three - Midge, Tidge and Squidge! We have a meeting with the children's agency Medical Advisor on Monday (27th). During August there is a meeting with foster carers, pre-Matching Panel meeting, a court hearing and Matching Panel before it is decided whether we will be their parents! Introduction Planning Meetings are scheduled for week commencing 21st September with two-week introductions later that week, so they could be moving in with us in early October!
Mary has been doing a lot of surfing on the message boards of Adoption UK and getting lots of help, support and advice from others in the same situation as us. It is such a great source of information and had saved us lots of time when producing lists! Talking of lists, it has been a week of list-making! Lists of questions to ask the Medical Advisor and foster carer. Lists of things to buy! Lists of dates: 'how many sleeps until...'! Someone said that should be: 'how many shopping days until...'!
We had friends round last Saturday (18th) who are also adopting and it was lovely to share everyone's news. We also heard from some friends of ours who went to matching panel on Monday and got a YES! They meet their new daughter on Wednesday (22nd). Fabulous news everyone. It's great to keep in touch and share events, helping us to remember that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
Today (24th) we had a phone call from the agency saying the foster carer meeting has been re-jigged to Monday. Good job Mary has already produced a 'List of things to ask FC'!
Home and cars:
There are cupboard safety catches to be attached to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be selling Mary's car and purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately. We need to start thinking about what we need for when the children arrive. It is too early to start buying anything yet, so Mary has produced a generic list. When we meet with with the foster carer we can identify what we will actually need. They will probably just come with some clothes and toys - no furniture or anything else. We have two weeks between Matching Panel and introductions so that should be plenty of time to get everything we need.
Work:
Mary has finished work and is concentrating on her studies. The course will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the time of introductions! Mungo is working full time in a IT role at a local company. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September. Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) - Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - Second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
We have been officially linked with a sibling group of three - Midge, Tidge and Squidge! We have a meeting with the children's agency Medical Advisor on Monday (27th). During August there is a meeting with foster carers, pre-Matching Panel meeting, a court hearing and Matching Panel before it is decided whether we will be their parents! Introduction Planning Meetings are scheduled for week commencing 21st September with two-week introductions later that week, so they could be moving in with us in early October!
Mary has been doing a lot of surfing on the message boards of Adoption UK and getting lots of help, support and advice from others in the same situation as us. It is such a great source of information and had saved us lots of time when producing lists! Talking of lists, it has been a week of list-making! Lists of questions to ask the Medical Advisor and foster carer. Lists of things to buy! Lists of dates: 'how many sleeps until...'! Someone said that should be: 'how many shopping days until...'!
We had friends round last Saturday (18th) who are also adopting and it was lovely to share everyone's news. We also heard from some friends of ours who went to matching panel on Monday and got a YES! They meet their new daughter on Wednesday (22nd). Fabulous news everyone. It's great to keep in touch and share events, helping us to remember that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
Today (24th) we had a phone call from the agency saying the foster carer meeting has been re-jigged to Monday. Good job Mary has already produced a 'List of things to ask FC'!
Home and cars:
There are cupboard safety catches to be attached to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be selling Mary's car and purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately. We need to start thinking about what we need for when the children arrive. It is too early to start buying anything yet, so Mary has produced a generic list. When we meet with with the foster carer we can identify what we will actually need. They will probably just come with some clothes and toys - no furniture or anything else. We have two weeks between Matching Panel and introductions so that should be plenty of time to get everything we need.
Work:
Mary has finished work and is concentrating on her studies. The course will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the time of introductions! Mungo is working full time in a IT role at a local company. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September. Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) - Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - Second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
Monday, 20 July 2009
14-Jul to 20-Jul
Family-finding:
We have been officially linked with a sibling group of three. Over the past few days we have been coming to terms with the possibility of having a family after nearly six years of trying. We are still mindful that there are two decisions that might not go our way, but for now we are a happy Mary and Mungo :) We are awaiting dates for meeting with their foster carer and their agency's Medical Adviser. In August there is a court hearing to decide whether the children are to be formally adopted as a sibling group or split up and raised separately within the wider birth family network. If the outcome is adoption then there is a matching panel date for 4th September to decide if we are to be their parents. Introduction Planning Meetings are scheduled for week commencing 21st September with introductions later that week. Introductions are likely to take about two weeks so they could be moving in with us in early October! Of course, all these dates are fluid, but it gives us something to aim for and something to advise Mungo's work of. As requested by the children's social workers, we have stopped family-finding elsewhere. This means we have dropped our potential links with all other sibling groups and are concentrating on these three little midges! The children's social workers have also stopped family finding.
16-Jul. Mary had a phone call from our social worker today asking us to attend a pre-matching panel meeting on 6th August with her and two other social workers from our agency. [To clarify: we are adopting children from a local authority some 30 or so miles from where we live whereas our social worker works at a private agency.] We will go through all the paperwork to identify any issues to be resolved or worked on. The meeting will also identify areas where we might need support from either the agency or local authority. This reduces the possibilty of any surprises or show-stoppers at matching panel. We are guessing it will make matching panel go more smoothly and give us a much better chance of approval. Sounds good to us!
17-Jul. We had another flurry of phone calls and emails from our social worker to book dates for meetings. Medical Adviser 27th July. Foster carer 4th or 7th August. Pre-matching Panel 6th August. We have also been asked not to start buying anything yet, which we were pleased to say we had already thought about and decided against anyway. Our social worker is happy that we are planning to wait until after the court case to start thinking about it and then after matching panel to start buying.
Home and cars:
We now have a cleaner, who is settling in nicely. There are cupboard safety catches to be attached to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be selling Mary's car and purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately. We need to start thinking about what we need for when the children arrive. It is too early to start buying anything so we can produce a generic list and then identify with the foster carer what we would need. They will probably just come with some clothes and toys - no furniture or anything else. We will start buying after matching panel; currently this gives us two weeks, which should be plenty.
Work:
Mary finishes working part time / casually at her local primary school on Thursday. She is no longer looking for a permanent role in September. The course that Mary is studying will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of August. Mungo is working full time in a IT role at a local company. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September. Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) - Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - Second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
We have been officially linked with a sibling group of three. Over the past few days we have been coming to terms with the possibility of having a family after nearly six years of trying. We are still mindful that there are two decisions that might not go our way, but for now we are a happy Mary and Mungo :) We are awaiting dates for meeting with their foster carer and their agency's Medical Adviser. In August there is a court hearing to decide whether the children are to be formally adopted as a sibling group or split up and raised separately within the wider birth family network. If the outcome is adoption then there is a matching panel date for 4th September to decide if we are to be their parents. Introduction Planning Meetings are scheduled for week commencing 21st September with introductions later that week. Introductions are likely to take about two weeks so they could be moving in with us in early October! Of course, all these dates are fluid, but it gives us something to aim for and something to advise Mungo's work of. As requested by the children's social workers, we have stopped family-finding elsewhere. This means we have dropped our potential links with all other sibling groups and are concentrating on these three little midges! The children's social workers have also stopped family finding.
16-Jul. Mary had a phone call from our social worker today asking us to attend a pre-matching panel meeting on 6th August with her and two other social workers from our agency. [To clarify: we are adopting children from a local authority some 30 or so miles from where we live whereas our social worker works at a private agency.] We will go through all the paperwork to identify any issues to be resolved or worked on. The meeting will also identify areas where we might need support from either the agency or local authority. This reduces the possibilty of any surprises or show-stoppers at matching panel. We are guessing it will make matching panel go more smoothly and give us a much better chance of approval. Sounds good to us!
17-Jul. We had another flurry of phone calls and emails from our social worker to book dates for meetings. Medical Adviser 27th July. Foster carer 4th or 7th August. Pre-matching Panel 6th August. We have also been asked not to start buying anything yet, which we were pleased to say we had already thought about and decided against anyway. Our social worker is happy that we are planning to wait until after the court case to start thinking about it and then after matching panel to start buying.
Home and cars:
We now have a cleaner, who is settling in nicely. There are cupboard safety catches to be attached to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be selling Mary's car and purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately. We need to start thinking about what we need for when the children arrive. It is too early to start buying anything so we can produce a generic list and then identify with the foster carer what we would need. They will probably just come with some clothes and toys - no furniture or anything else. We will start buying after matching panel; currently this gives us two weeks, which should be plenty.
Work:
Mary finishes working part time / casually at her local primary school on Thursday. She is no longer looking for a permanent role in September. The course that Mary is studying will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of August. Mungo is working full time in a IT role at a local company. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September. Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) - Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - Second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
Monday, 13 July 2009
07-Jul to 13-Jul
Family-finding:
- Sibling group of three: we have all their paperwork and there are some great common features between them and us, like family names and so on.
- Tuesday 07-Jul. We had a very successful meeting and our social worker said they would be 'bonkers' not to go with us :D It went really well and we saw some up-to-date pictures of them and got some up-to-date information on their progress since the last set of reports were completed. We are awaiting a phone call on Friday to advise us of their decision. We are now starting to think about what it would be like with them being our children. We are also mindful that there are lots of decisions to be made yet!
- Thursday 09-Jul. We had the call a day earlyand it was a YES! All systems are go go go!! The social worlers are planning for us to meet the foster carers and medical adviser in July. On 10th August there is a two week court hearing to decide whether the children are to be formally adopted as a sibling group or split up and raised separately within the wider birth family group. If the outcome is adoption then there is a matching panel date for 4th September to decide if we are the right parents. Then we have Introduction Planning Meetings scheduled week commencing 21st September with introductions later that week. Introductions are likely to take about two weeks so they could be moving in with us early October! Of course, all this information is fluid and any decisions against us will halt the process immediately, but it certainly gives us something to aim for.
- As requested by the children's social workers, we have stopped family-finding elsewhere. This means we have dropped our potential links with all other sibling groups and are concentrating on these. The children's social workers have also stopped family finding :D
Friday 10-Jul. Today Mary has been busy! We have provided our social worker with: up to date financial information, updated CRB check forms, a copy of info on our local support network, updated childcare experience information and feedback sheets based on the children's paperwork!
Home and cars:
- We have a new cleaner who is great and we are happy to keep her - at last! We will attach cupboard safety catches to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.
Work:
- Mary finishes working part time / casually at her local primary school on 16th July. She is no longer looking for a permanent role in September. The course that Mary is studying will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of August.
- Mungo is working full time in a permanent IT role. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
- Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September.
- Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) – Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) – second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
- Sibling group of three: we have all their paperwork and there are some great common features between them and us, like family names and so on.
- Tuesday 07-Jul. We had a very successful meeting and our social worker said they would be 'bonkers' not to go with us :D It went really well and we saw some up-to-date pictures of them and got some up-to-date information on their progress since the last set of reports were completed. We are awaiting a phone call on Friday to advise us of their decision. We are now starting to think about what it would be like with them being our children. We are also mindful that there are lots of decisions to be made yet!
- Thursday 09-Jul. We had the call a day earlyand it was a YES! All systems are go go go!! The social worlers are planning for us to meet the foster carers and medical adviser in July. On 10th August there is a two week court hearing to decide whether the children are to be formally adopted as a sibling group or split up and raised separately within the wider birth family group. If the outcome is adoption then there is a matching panel date for 4th September to decide if we are the right parents. Then we have Introduction Planning Meetings scheduled week commencing 21st September with introductions later that week. Introductions are likely to take about two weeks so they could be moving in with us early October! Of course, all this information is fluid and any decisions against us will halt the process immediately, but it certainly gives us something to aim for.
- As requested by the children's social workers, we have stopped family-finding elsewhere. This means we have dropped our potential links with all other sibling groups and are concentrating on these. The children's social workers have also stopped family finding :D
Friday 10-Jul. Today Mary has been busy! We have provided our social worker with: up to date financial information, updated CRB check forms, a copy of info on our local support network, updated childcare experience information and feedback sheets based on the children's paperwork!
Home and cars:
- We have a new cleaner who is great and we are happy to keep her - at last! We will attach cupboard safety catches to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will be purchasing a nearly new car when we are matched. Mungo's car is to stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.
Work:
- Mary finishes working part time / casually at her local primary school on 16th July. She is no longer looking for a permanent role in September. The course that Mary is studying will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of August.
- Mungo is working full time in a permanent IT role. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!
Studying:
- Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September.
- Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) – Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) – second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.
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