06-May 2010

Post number 90 and my last post.

We picked them up at 9.30 and gave the FC a card, flowers, chocolates and photo frame from them.  We met their social worker and signed our lives away!  We picked up the last few bits and pieces, then said our goodbyes.  I thought I was going to blub big time but I didn’t.  FC held it together well, she is a strong lady!

We then drove home without a peep from them all - mainly due to Tom and Jerry on the car DVD!  We had a relaxing morning in the lounge playing with toys and then lunch of Midge’s favourite – sandwiches!  We popped to the shops to pick up some bits and then into the garden.  Midge didn’t follow Mumma’s instructions and so had to stay in with her for some time-in whilst she unpacked the shopping and tidied up.  A bit later on he said sorry of his own accord, so he is realising what is happening.  We then had tea – meatballs, sweetcorn and rice yummy!

Then we did the first full bath and bedtime routine here.  We chucked them all in the bath together and they all loved it.  They each chose a bedtime story and we read to them.  Then it was time for Squidge’s bottle and into bed for them all.  Midge wouldn’t stop talking, Tidge screamed for a while and needed Daddy’s hand for a while.  Squidge went off in 2 minutes flat!  We have sussed Midge and Squidge so we need to work on Tidge – but it’s only the first night!  Let’s hope they don’t wake until the morning – ha haa!

Thanks for all your support over these 10 days and the previous few years.  I have loved every minute of writing my blog.  We have had such fantastic feedback from you wonderful readers and if it wasn't for you all I might not have continued sometimes.  It has been a three year adoption slog on top of two years naturally trying and two years / four cycles of IVF.  We have had the worst journey bar none and many times I wondered if any of it was going to be worth it.  When I kissed our children goodnight tonight for the first time in their new beds in their forever home, the pain, heartache and blackness was wiped away in an instant.  We are a family at last.  Lots of love from Mary, Mungo, Midge, Tidge and Squidge xxxxx

Our journey

Jul 03 We started dating, after knowing each other as colleagues for a few years
Dec 03 Started trying for a family
Feb 04 Got engaged and bought our house
Feb 05 Got married
Aug 05 Started IVF
Nov 06 Stopped IVF after 4 ICSI cycles
Apr 07 Decided to adopt so applied to agency
Jul 07 Application accepted
Nov 07 Prep groups completed
Mar 08 Home study completed
Aug 08 Approved to adopt a sibling group of 2-3 children aged 6 and under. Actively looking for children
Dec 08 / Jan 09 Potential link with a sibling group of three; due to the decision to split up the boys we decided not to proceed
Mar 09 / Apr 09 Potential link with a sibling group of three; the social workers went with another couple who were geographically closer and more able to reflect their cultural identity
Apr 09 / Jul 09 Linked with a sibling group of three. Received reports: Children's Permanence Report, medical, foster carers and nursery. Met with children's social worker and their agency's Family Finding social worker. Officially linked on 9th July. On 24th July birth family no longer support the plan for adoption, have their own plan and are in a much stronger position than they were. The court date is set for February. Due to the uncertainty of the outcome and the 6-month wait we decided not to proceed
Aug 09 We had a break from family finding for a month following a failed link. We are looking at ways to make ourselves better known to social workers and had our one year review on 27th August.
Sep 09 We have become more proactive in contacting social workers and have updated our profile.  This has lead to three sets of social workers being interested in us and paperwork has been swapped.
Oct 09  We had a meeting on 13th October with social workers regarding a sibling group of two and were not successful.  We decided to take a short break from blogging
Nov 09  Re-linked with group of three that failed in July - yayy!  Placement order to be granted in February
Dec 09  Awaiting outcome of interim court hearing
Jan 10  Still awaiting outcome of interim court hearing
Feb 10  Care Order and Placement Order granted.  Matching panel was pencilled in for 5th March but subsequently cancelled
Mar 10  Matching panel due 9th April.  Met foster carer, nursery school teacher and Medical Adviser
Apr 10  Matched to three children under the age of five - extremely relived and happy  Introductions start 27th April
May 10  Introductions for 10 days, brought home our Midge, Tidge and Squidge on 6th May 2010 - THE END!