Monday 31 August 2009

August

After a failed link at the end of July we have been taking some time off and are re-starting family finding.
We have been looking at ways to 'sell' ourselves better to social workers.
We had our annual review on 27th August, where we assessed the last year's family finding and to decide on the way forward. There is already so much being done and very little to improve upon; it was agreed that we just haven't yet found our Midges. We are to update the agency's profile form of us and they are to ensure we are invited to attend more family finding events. Another review is to be held in six months time if there is are no strong links in place.

25-Aug to 31-Aug

Family finding:
Our
annual review was today (Thursday). It's been a month since our failed match and a year since we were approved. We have been going down the family / adoption route in one way or another for six years now and we cant believe we are still so far away from having a family. Our social worker and the agency manager are certain that we will be matched, we just need to find the right littlies. We and they seem to be all doing the right things so there isnt much else we can do. We looked through previous history and what they are doing. We are going to review the profile they send out and add a couple of up to date photos and jazz it up a bit. Also we will have a copy too so that we are all sending out the same info (we currently don’t send one out). They said they are happy for us to contact social workers to instigate the first contact and then pass the info to our social worker. They mentioned exchange days and we have been to one in 18 months, so they are going to check the next ones coming up to ensure we are invited. It looks like we could have been missed off their distribution list for info on them. We advised them of our hits on the Adoption Register, so we just need to turn those hits into s/w visits! We already subscribe to Children Who Wait (the Adoption UK's periodical of children waiting to be adopted) and actively identify potentials to our social worker, so it doesnt seem that there is much else that can be done. We have another review meeting in 6 months and then its action stations if we don’t have any solid leads then. Our social worker has 3 leads she is working on at the moment and will contact us in a couple of weeks to discuss any potentials. So, the story of our lives: back to waiting around for someone else to do something - aaarrrggghhh!!!

Home and cars:
The cleaner is helping to keep the house spick and span. Household safety: items such as cupboard safety catches and stair gates will be attached when we get a match. We will sell Mary's car and purchase a nearly new car.

Work:
Mary is concentrating on her studies and hopes to be finished by the end of the year. Mungo is IT Manager for the UK arm of an international company situated a few minutes from home
. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans.

Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - received an A in her 5th assignment and is half way through number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - exam date is 15th September.
Mungo's courses: T175 (Networked Living) – Course finished, PASS! M255 (Java Programming) – the fourth and final assignment (due 17th September) has been submitted; exam date is 14th October. MT264 (Designing Applications With Visual Basic) – registration complete, course starts 3rd October.

Monday 24 August 2009

18-Aug to 24-Aug

Family finding:
Our annual review is on the 27th August. Our social worker is comprising a list of all contacts she has had about us, so that we can see the activity in this past year. We will use the information to assess if we are looking at the 'right' children.

Home and cars:
The cleaner is helping to keep the house spick and span. Household safety: items such as cupboard safety catches and stair gates will be attached when we get a match. We will sell Mary's car and purchase a nearly new car. Mungo's car will stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.

Work:
Mary is concentrating on her studies and not work for the time being. Mungo is IT Manager for the UK arm of an international company situated a few minutes from home. It's just perfect for us as he will be able to work more flexibility
when we have the Midges. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in.

Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - received an A in her 5th assignment and has started number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - exam date is 15th September. Mungo's courses: T175 (Networked Living) - the End of Course Assessment (ECA) score was 70% meaning the overall result for that course was 77%! Well done Mungo. M255 (Java Programming) - third assignment score was 87%; the fourth and final assignment will be submitted by 17th September.

Monday 17 August 2009

11-Aug to 17-Aug

Family finding:
We have been taking a break from family finding following a failed link. It has been a year since we were approved, so this is a good time to assess where we are and decide how to progress our family finding.
Our annual review has been booked for the 27th August. Mary has been doing some research on how we can improve our chances of finding the right children, or being found by social workers. We already subscribe to one of the two 4-weekly journals with children's information and are thinking about the value in subscribing to the other one, when most of the children are in both. We are thinking of producing an A4 colour flyer which can be used to advertise ourselves to social workers - just need a couple of decent photos! The Adoption Register is a database of children waiting to be adopted and prospective adopters looking for children. Social workers who are family finding, use it to identify potential matches for the children in their care. Mary contacted the Adoption Register to ask if there had been any 'hits' on our information in the year that we have been added and was advised that there were "too many to count". There have been several hits in August alone! This is great news, so we need to see from our social worker what has been happening with those hits to see how many, if any, have become enquiries.

12-Aug: We have spoken with our social worker to finalise details about the review meeting and she is comprising a list of all contacts she has had about us, which we can review so that we can see the activity in this past year. We took the opportunity to ask that she start family finding again. She advises that all previous potential links had been stopped, so we are starting afresh. In the last couple of weeks she has had five email enquiries about us, so she will progress those. They may all come to nothing, as it will entirely depend on the children's suitability, i.e. a sibling group of 2-3 aged 6 and under, with at least one being a girl. We have also been invited to attend an Adoption Exchange Day in October. This is where approved adopters and social workers get together to discuss children who are waiting to be adopted. It is a great opportunity to get ourselves known and hopefully get that all important match. This is where a flyer might come in handy! The ongoing activity that our social worker has had on us from other social workers is really good news, because it means there is continued interest in us. It helps us to reason that we are still childless after two and a half years down the adoption path because we haven't found OUR children yet, rather than because we are not getting ourselves known.

So much for taking a break lol!

Home and cars:
The cleaner is helping to keep the house spick and span. We are planning for her to do a spring clean of windows, doors, skirting boards, etc. in a couple of weeks. Mary is sorting out cupboards and generally getting the house in order. Household safety: items such as cupboard safety catches and stair gates will be attached when we get a match. We will sell Mary's car and purchase a nearly new car. Mungo's car will stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.

Work:
Mary is concentrating on her studies and not work for the time being. Mungo is IT Manager for the UK arm of an international company situated a few minutes from home. It's just perfect for us as he will be able to work more flexibility
when we have the Midges. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in.

Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - received an A in her 5th assignment and has started number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - exam date is 15th September. Mungo's courses: T175 (Networked Living) - waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - third assignment score was 87%; the fourth and final assignment will be submitted by 17th September.

Monday 10 August 2009

04-Aug to 10-Aug

Family-finding:
We were recently been linked with three children and that link stopped when the birth family decided not to support the plan for adoption. We are taking a break from family finding for three weeks and then will start again. We are planning to go back to our social worker on the 17th August after a weekend away. Our annual review is due on the 8th, it has been a whole year since we were approved, so this is a good time to take a step back and assess where we have got to and decide how to progress our family finding. In the
meantime, we have been busy: Mary had got back to her studying at last and Mungo has been applying for a new job in his company. Mary has also bought a new bed!

Home and cars:
The cleaner is helping to keep the house spick and span; she is getting the job done quicker now so we have given her a few more jobs to do. Household safety: items such as cupboard safety catches and stair gates to be attached when we get a match. We will then sell Mary's car and purchase a nearly new car. Mungo's car will stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.

Work:
Mary will continue to concentrate on her studies and not work for the time being. Mungo is working full time in a IT role at an international company situated a few minutes from home. He has just been accepted for a new role - Mungo is now the IT Manager for the UK arm of the company - Mary is very proud of him! It's just perfect for us, especially when we have the Midges, as there will be more flexibility and he will be working for himself. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in.

Studying:
Mary's course will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of the year. Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - awaiting exam date in September. Mungo's courses will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges! T175 (Networked Living) - waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - second assignment score was 91% and third assignment was submitted on 23rd July.

Monday 3 August 2009

28-Jul to 03-Aug

Family-finding:
We have been officially linked with a sibling group of three, aged. We were due to have a meeting with the Medical Advisor and foster carer on Monday 27th July. Late on Friday 24th July we were contacted by one of our agency's social workers to say that the outcome of a court hearing that day had not gone as expected and could she come straight over to discuss it. The hearing was designed to allow the the birth parents to confirm their intentions to support adoption of the three little ones that we are planning to adopt. They have changed their minds (again, apparently) and are no longer supporting the plan for adoption. They have come up with their own plan to keep the children within the family, which has potential to work. The judge closed the hearing saying assessments need to be done on the family members before any decisions can be made. The next court date is in February.

We had a meeting with our and the childrens' social worker on Monday to discuss our options and we have decided that the wait until February with such an unclear outcome is going to be too emotionally draining for us. We can't invest in 6 or more months when the likelihood is that we will come out with nothing. So today (29th) we have withdrawn our interest. Absolutely gutted :(

Who I feel most sorry for are the children; they have already been in care for 8 or more months. If the birth family plan is supported by the judge they will be going back into the same abusive environment from which they were removed into care. Speechless.

We are going to give it a couple of weeks and then go back to the agency for our annual review and to start again.

Home and cars:
The cleaner is helping to keep the house spick and span, lovely. Mary has cleared out the kitchen cupboards and got rid of 67 glasses! Cupboard safety catches to be attached to cupboards and drawers in the kitchen as soon as we are matched. We will then sell Mary's car and purchase a nearly new car. Mungo's car will stay with us, as we can put car seats in the back of it when we take the children out separately.

Work:
Following the news about the failed link, we have decided that Mary will continue to concentrate on her studies and not work for the time being. The course will help increase her salary and give her more flexibility and choice in the future. Studying must be finished by the end of the year. Mungo is working full time in a IT role at a local company. His company, and indeed the MD, are very supportive of our plans for him to take time off during introductions and settling in. The course that Mungo is studying will provide him with more opportunities for roles inside and out of the company and provide a secure furture for him, Mary and our long awaited Midges!

Studying:
Mary: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - Received a B in her 4th assignment, has nearly completed her 5th (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - Awaiting exam date in September. Mungo: T175 (Networked Living) - Waiting for the result of the End of Course Assessment (ECA) that was submitted on the 21st May. M255 (Java Programming) - Second assignment score was 91% and third assignment is due for submission on 23rd July.