Shopping! Yes, we have spent more money that we don't have lol We now have stair gates, fire guard, bedding, clothes, toys, books, wardrobes, chests of drawers, beds, car seats and a new car aka THE BUS! This thing is huge! And it's got five more seats than my old car - at which I cried when it was driven away :( So Mungo is going to be in flat-pack heaven over the next few nights lol We also have the drawer and cupboard catches to fit and then I think we are pretty much done. It's getting very exciting. There is plenty more to buy when we are in introductions as we can't buy it all yet because we don't know what to buy, e.g. high chairs: we don't know if Tidge (middly) is in a high chair or a booster seat. We don't know what toys, clothes and personal belongings they will be bringing with them either - we are assuming nothing much. So one evening after we are part way through intros we will be off shopping again. The list really IS never ending!
Books! I don't think I have said much about books on this blog, which is silly really as I have been reading loads. There is one that I am currently reading and would recommend above all others is "The Science of Parenting" by Margot Sutherland, of whom some people on Adoption UK message boards think is a goddess lol It is a bit sciencey at the start, but not too much, bear with it and as soon as you get past that first bit the rest is so extremely readable that it even make sense to me lol There are lots of pictures and little case-studies to make it real and understandable. It gives practical advice, specific words to say and actions for everything you might come across: tale-telling, time-in, clinging, tantrums, sticker charts, sibling rivalry, family rules and so on. It's great to read from cover to cover and will be excellent as a reference book as the children get older.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Saturday, 17 April 2010
17-Apr 2010
We had an email, a phone call and a letter in the last two day advising us of the Decision Maker's decision - which was a YES! So, all social worker boxes are ticked and there is nothing stopping us going ahead with this match - yippeee! Which is good really because we have S H O P P E D!
So who is the decision maker? The DM is a senior person within the Local Authority or Voluntary Agency. As with approval panel, the panel makes a recommendation to the Decision Maker who then has seven working days in which to make the final decision. The recommendation / decision may be 'no', 'deferred' or 'yes'. The DM may make a different decision to the panel's recommendation, which is rare but can and does happen. I know two couples who had a different decision from the DM compared with the panel when they were being approved to be adopters. With both of them, the 'no' and 'deferred' decisions by panel were overturned into a yes!
Our friends G&F have been having intros with their little on for the last couple of weeks and he has now moved home for good. We are sooooo excited for them and pleased that everything is going well.
It has been a year since our friends R&A met their little one and that year has just flown by. She is so settled and just adorable, big hugs xxx
So now we have just 10 sleeps until the Inter-agency meeting on the 27th, where we will be planning for introductions that will start the same afternoon. Mary picks up her new car on Monday and is spending the week picking up clothes, books and outdoor toys that she has asked for from Freecycle and friends. We realised that we couldn't afford to buy everything that we needed so we are buying brand new safety and hygiene items, like mattresses, car seats, nappy bins and so on. Everything else we are asking for donations from people. We have been inundated with offers, everyone has been so generous, it is overwhelming!
So who is the decision maker? The DM is a senior person within the Local Authority or Voluntary Agency. As with approval panel, the panel makes a recommendation to the Decision Maker who then has seven working days in which to make the final decision. The recommendation / decision may be 'no', 'deferred' or 'yes'. The DM may make a different decision to the panel's recommendation, which is rare but can and does happen. I know two couples who had a different decision from the DM compared with the panel when they were being approved to be adopters. With both of them, the 'no' and 'deferred' decisions by panel were overturned into a yes!
Our friends G&F have been having intros with their little on for the last couple of weeks and he has now moved home for good. We are sooooo excited for them and pleased that everything is going well.
It has been a year since our friends R&A met their little one and that year has just flown by. She is so settled and just adorable, big hugs xxx
So now we have just 10 sleeps until the Inter-agency meeting on the 27th, where we will be planning for introductions that will start the same afternoon. Mary picks up her new car on Monday and is spending the week picking up clothes, books and outdoor toys that she has asked for from Freecycle and friends. We realised that we couldn't afford to buy everything that we needed so we are buying brand new safety and hygiene items, like mattresses, car seats, nappy bins and so on. Everything else we are asking for donations from people. We have been inundated with offers, everyone has been so generous, it is overwhelming!
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
13-Apr 2010
I think it is finally starting to sink in that we are going to be parents. We do still keep having to pinch ourselves from time to time. So we have been shopping! I have been buying all sorts of things online and tomorrow will be buying from real life shops too! My changing bag arrived today - from Pink Lining. It is GORGEOUS! If you are looking for a treat and a practical and smart bag then look them up. We also got a nappy bin and cartridges (thanks R for the tip!), a heat sensitive bath mat, purple spotty muslins and a changing mat. The two best and cheapest sites we have found are kiddicare.com (not kiddiecare.com which is a US site) and preciouslittleone.com. As I was unpacking it all, like a kiddie on Christmas Day, a neighbour who I used to work with popped over with about 30 books and some toys and nursery rhyme cassettes! I have also been onto Facebook and begged my friends for cast-offs and have been inundated with offers. I am totally shocked and amazed at everyone's generosity!
We got a form in the post from the Local Authority who we are adopting through, asking us to give feedback on how panel went. I would really like one to fill in asking us to give feedback on how matching with these three children went! But we will be professional, and anyway we might need them again in the future!
My (Mary's) car gets picked up today by the new owners :'( I know I am going to blub, just like I did when Mungo told me it was sold. We went out in it for the last time last night, very sad occasion. It has served us well and we have had so much fun and happiness in it. It has taken us to some wonderful places and has never let us down. It has been a part of the family for six years and today is a sad day.
On a happier note, I get to pick up my new car on Sunday, yayyy!!! It's a seven-seater with sliding doors, so it will be great for the kids. As soon as we pick it up we will be off to the shops to pick up the wardrobes and beds that we have earmarked.
Paperwork! We have also handed in our application form for a place at our chosen school, sent off the application form for child benefit payments and spoken with the Child Trust Fund team. We have also spoken with our dentist, doctor and optician about how we register the children as new patients. We learned something new: children don't need to get their eyes tested until they are 5! Of course that is unless they have eye sight issues, which our children don't. So there you go, we didn't know that!
About three weeks ago I finished my NVQ3 in Children's Care, Learning and Development and I got a Distinction, getting top marks in all ten assignments. I am so thrilled and pleased that I finally got through it - with a lot of pushing from Mungo I might add. Without him I wouldn't have finished it. So here's a big THANK YOU to Mungo! Sooooooo now what do I do in my spare time? I have taken up crochet and crocheted a baby blanket. Actually its only a small one made out of 30 squares so really it's a doll's blanket! But I don't care because I actually MADE something! Now I have got to think what to do for my next project.
We got a form in the post from the Local Authority who we are adopting through, asking us to give feedback on how panel went. I would really like one to fill in asking us to give feedback on how matching with these three children went! But we will be professional, and anyway we might need them again in the future!
My (Mary's) car gets picked up today by the new owners :'( I know I am going to blub, just like I did when Mungo told me it was sold. We went out in it for the last time last night, very sad occasion. It has served us well and we have had so much fun and happiness in it. It has taken us to some wonderful places and has never let us down. It has been a part of the family for six years and today is a sad day.
On a happier note, I get to pick up my new car on Sunday, yayyy!!! It's a seven-seater with sliding doors, so it will be great for the kids. As soon as we pick it up we will be off to the shops to pick up the wardrobes and beds that we have earmarked.
Paperwork! We have also handed in our application form for a place at our chosen school, sent off the application form for child benefit payments and spoken with the Child Trust Fund team. We have also spoken with our dentist, doctor and optician about how we register the children as new patients. We learned something new: children don't need to get their eyes tested until they are 5! Of course that is unless they have eye sight issues, which our children don't. So there you go, we didn't know that!
About three weeks ago I finished my NVQ3 in Children's Care, Learning and Development and I got a Distinction, getting top marks in all ten assignments. I am so thrilled and pleased that I finally got through it - with a lot of pushing from Mungo I might add. Without him I wouldn't have finished it. So here's a big THANK YOU to Mungo! Sooooooo now what do I do in my spare time? I have taken up crochet and crocheted a baby blanket. Actually its only a small one made out of 30 squares so really it's a doll's blanket! But I don't care because I actually MADE something! Now I have got to think what to do for my next project.
Friday, 9 April 2010
09-Apr 2010
The juiceman from del monte he say..... ....YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a unanimous yes! They were very impressed with our commitment to the children and how much we have lived and breathed them in the last year. We have handed over the DVD and introductions books and the social workers loved them! They think they will be great and the children's social worker said she can't wait to start working with the oldest one to prepare him for meeting us. We are just overwhelmed with emotion and relief! Mungo says I can now go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I would say you don't know how much we have wanted this but I doubt there is a single soul reading this who doesn't know our story and I think you all know how we feel right now! I say again what I said in my last post, thanks to everyone who has supported us in one way or another. Signing off a relieved and extremely happy mary and mungo who are now parents!!!
It was a unanimous yes! They were very impressed with our commitment to the children and how much we have lived and breathed them in the last year. We have handed over the DVD and introductions books and the social workers loved them! They think they will be great and the children's social worker said she can't wait to start working with the oldest one to prepare him for meeting us. We are just overwhelmed with emotion and relief! Mungo says I can now go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooo hooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I would say you don't know how much we have wanted this but I doubt there is a single soul reading this who doesn't know our story and I think you all know how we feel right now! I say again what I said in my last post, thanks to everyone who has supported us in one way or another. Signing off a relieved and extremely happy mary and mungo who are now parents!!!
Thursday, 8 April 2010
08-Apr 2010
Today we got a phone call from our social worker to say the birth family had moved from our town back to the town where the children come from - so they aren't two miles away like we were told! we are over the moon and sooooooo relieved. that was the one thing we were very worried that the panel might defer or say no about. She also said that intros have been put back by a week so we wont be meeting them until 27th or after. Grrr... Not very happy about that but hey it gives us more time to SHOP!
We have also been told that we WILL get an adoption allowance, a settling-in grant and they are considering a lump sum payment too! This is more than what we expected so we are very happy indeed! It means that I will not have to go back to work as soon as we had expected. This will only serve to help the children attach and settle in much better and defer any money worries for longer making us happier bunnies - wooo hooo!
We have today finished the introductions books and the DVD (eek!) Mungo is finalising the DVD and could be up a while! I did the introductions book, it was the Tomy Talking Photo Album and is fantastic for children of all ages. i did one for each child, named the books so they know whose is whose and we took it in turns to record the messaged with each of the eight photos, so they can get used to our voices. We did pictures of:
- Mary and mungo by the front door
- The outside of the house
- Us in the kitchen / diner eating breakfast
- Us in the lounge watching the fish tank
- Us in the garden playing with toys
- Us in the bathroom with their names in sponge letter on the bath
- Their new granny and granddad playing in the park
- A close-up of us - so they can see mary's spots and mungo's warts lol
Each of the pictures is slightly different so their books are unique to each child and in total they all have 18 photos of us. We also bought a little individual toy for each of them and they are in most of the photos too. I even crocheted scarves for the toys and embroidered the children's initials on the scarves so they know whose toy is whose. The toys will be their presents to them when we meet them for the first time! The DVD followed a similar format to the pictures but without the grandparents.
I am still a bit fazed by everything that has happened and I don't feel that I can relax. I think it's all the problems we have faced to get to this day. And many, many times I never thought we would. It hasn't been without its struggles and downright despair too many times. but through everything all our cyber friends - that's you! - all have kept us going.
Here is a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has been there for us, who has supported us and has cried with us. To everyone who has commented on our blog, sent cyber hugs / choc / wine, to everyone who has wished us well and given us advice, who has been in the dark with us and who has yippeed when things went right - this goes to you: THANK YOU!!!
We seriously couldn't have got to today - or tomorrow - without you all. So it's time to switch off the lappy and try to get an early night's sleep, ha ha!
We have also been told that we WILL get an adoption allowance, a settling-in grant and they are considering a lump sum payment too! This is more than what we expected so we are very happy indeed! It means that I will not have to go back to work as soon as we had expected. This will only serve to help the children attach and settle in much better and defer any money worries for longer making us happier bunnies - wooo hooo!
We have today finished the introductions books and the DVD (eek!) Mungo is finalising the DVD and could be up a while! I did the introductions book, it was the Tomy Talking Photo Album and is fantastic for children of all ages. i did one for each child, named the books so they know whose is whose and we took it in turns to record the messaged with each of the eight photos, so they can get used to our voices. We did pictures of:
- Mary and mungo by the front door
- The outside of the house
- Us in the kitchen / diner eating breakfast
- Us in the lounge watching the fish tank
- Us in the garden playing with toys
- Us in the bathroom with their names in sponge letter on the bath
- Their new granny and granddad playing in the park
- A close-up of us - so they can see mary's spots and mungo's warts lol
Each of the pictures is slightly different so their books are unique to each child and in total they all have 18 photos of us. We also bought a little individual toy for each of them and they are in most of the photos too. I even crocheted scarves for the toys and embroidered the children's initials on the scarves so they know whose toy is whose. The toys will be their presents to them when we meet them for the first time! The DVD followed a similar format to the pictures but without the grandparents.
I am still a bit fazed by everything that has happened and I don't feel that I can relax. I think it's all the problems we have faced to get to this day. And many, many times I never thought we would. It hasn't been without its struggles and downright despair too many times. but through everything all our cyber friends - that's you! - all have kept us going.
Here is a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has been there for us, who has supported us and has cried with us. To everyone who has commented on our blog, sent cyber hugs / choc / wine, to everyone who has wished us well and given us advice, who has been in the dark with us and who has yippeed when things went right - this goes to you: THANK YOU!!!
We seriously couldn't have got to today - or tomorrow - without you all. So it's time to switch off the lappy and try to get an early night's sleep, ha ha!
Monday, 29 March 2010
29-Mar 2010
We had a meeting with out social worker this morning and she was of the opinion that all would be well, that panel MAY have questions about it and that it is her and the childrens' social worker's job to convince them that we have investigated all possible avenues and that we are okay with it. The thing is we are not, we are still unsure but we at least are thinking the same. These ARE OUR CHILDREN and we will do whatever we can to ensure that we adopt them and we have to convince everyone that we CAN manage the situation.
The paperwork was completed and signed off ready for panel in eleven days. We are going to spend the time finishing off lists of things to buy and working on the DVD and introductions books.
The paperwork was completed and signed off ready for panel in eleven days. We are going to spend the time finishing off lists of things to buy and working on the DVD and introductions books.
Thursday, 25 March 2010
25-Mar 2010
We had a phone call from our social worker later yesterday to say that the paperwork for matching panel needs to be back to the Local Authority by Monday afternoon so she has re-scheduled our meeting for Monday morning, not Tuesday morning. And the most important piece of paperwork that we have to give our best attention to will have to be completed in two hours. So the 10 days we are supposed to get have disappeared into the ether. Apparently they 'forgot' to send the paperwork to our social worker and were chasing her up on it. She said well it would be nice to be able to send it back to you but we haven't had it in the first place! Not very happy, this happened to us for approval panel too, grrrr....
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