Wednesday, 3 March 2010

03-Mar 2010

Schools!  One thing I didn't mention is that when our social worker came to see us on the 8th February she said we could start looking for a school for Midge.  Midge is of school age and currently in school full time, so when he moves in he will need to go to school pretty soon after.  We have been looking at schools in and around where we live and there are a few he could go to.  For those of you reading who are new the the schools adimission policy, looked after children or children in care go to the top of the waiting list for school admissions and schools can and do take these children even when the school is full!  So remember that!

It was brilliant visiting the schools and talking about 'our children'.  It was wonderful and exciting to finally be doing something specifically relating to these children.  It was amazing to feel and sound like a Mum and Dad - goosebumps!  It also felt really fake talking about children that we have never met as if they have lived with us forever.  Such bizarre feelings!  In reality in our minds they have been with us for several months, we just need to get them here physically!

Introductions book and DVD.  Yes, that 'gulp' time!  Our social worker also discussed with us that we need to start making an introductions book and DVD.  These will be the books that each child will have that introduces us to them.  So, for example the oldest one will have sentences and pictures in their book, the middle one will have basic words and pictures and the baby will have mostly pictures.  The pictures will be of us, our house, car, kitchen, bedrooms, local park and garden.  The DVD will be about five minutes long and be of us in and around the house, with lots of talking and actions.  This will get them used to our voices as well as our faces.

The third thing we will do is find out from the foster carer what is their favourite soft toy / character and buy a brand new one of those for each of them.  Then we will live with the toys and put our 'smell' on them - take them to bed and cuddle them whilst watching TV for example.  This will be most important for the little one as he is still quite young.  Of course, whether these items are successful or not will entirely depend upon whether the foster carer does their job properly and uses them appropriately.  The are supposed to use them between matching panel and introductions - about two weeks, I imagine.  I have lots of stories of people who have walked into the foster carer's home for the first time to meet their children and one of them looks directly at 'Daddy' and his very first words to him are: "Daddy, you're in my book!"  Or "Daddy, you're on TV!" Bless!

I have already started on the books and we need to do a script for the DVD, but for now we have put that on hold until we have a date for matching panel.  If it's not until May then the garden will look greener and more inviting in a few weeks time so we can hold off taking pictures until nearer the time.  Well that's it for now, roll on tomorrow when we hope we will have some more information to tell you all.


  1. Wow, things are moving along! It is a real pity that the matching panel date has been moved but fantastic that it has been agreed that you have a very good match and much better that you have more to up to date info on the children, both for you and Mungo and for Midge, Tidge and Squidge :)

    The very best of luck tomorrow Mary... xxxx

  2. When you say DVD, do you mean a full sound/vision prodcution?

    Do you have a video camera? What if you don't own one?

  3. hi moonpig, yes you are right that there is movement! Thanks for your good luck wishes, I'll post the coutcome as soon as I can. :) xx

    Hi sass, do i detect a hint of panic when you are asking those questions??? only joking! yes sound and vision but just five minutes or so, nothing special. we happen to have a video camera and video capability on my stills camera. but as for post-production and all that jazz then no it won't be like that! the social workers also have access to one or you could borrow one.

    the reason why we are doing a script is because it will only be shot in one go, we don't have pot production facilities so we have to get it right first time. it will be something like us standing ourside the house waving and saying the kids names, like, "Hello Midge, Tidge and Squidge. We are Mary and Mungo and we are your forever mummy and daddy." Then the camera stops, we move into the kitchen and film Mungo cooking (always wanted to record that for posterity!) and he will say something like, "This is the kitchen were we are cooking all you favourite foods." Cut to Mary eating at the table and saying, "Here is the dining room table where we will all sit and eat our breakfast together." Well.... you get the idea!

    Hope that helps!

  4. The one our soon to be adoptive daughter was given by her potential forever mummy was just like how you mentioned "mummy loves to garden,come and see the pretty flowers,do you like swings" "mummy loves to cook here is the kitchen" she said when we met her she filmed it with the help of her sister and kept laughing.It was sweetly done and she had put some of our angels pics with her on the front we of course showed angel the dvd all the time until introductions started bearing in mind she was only 14mths old.We also were given a photo album of the same pics of her new mom taken from shots from the dvd,she put simple captions,I had done a photo album for her to before the intro's but it was not meant to be and it stopped after 2 days and I think about this lovely lady we welcomed in but am internally grateful she opened up about her feelings.I think the point is try to be yourselves when making the dvd(easier said than done)hope this helps,beckyx

  5. thanks becky, that was lovely to hear. very sad that it didnt work out. yes you are right. we need to get ourselves sorted on this one and now we have a date for panel (the third one, mind you!) we can get cracking on it!