Break before we break

After another knockback Mary has decided to take a break from blogging and the AUK message boards.  It is all getting too much for now.  We will still carry on family finding and we hope to continue the blog when we have firm and good news.  For now having to recieve and then give bad news so often is draining both of us.  We are going away for Mary's birthday in a few weeks time and then there's the dreaded Cristmas and New Year being on our own - again.  Maybe the new year will bring fresh optimish and a fresh start.

For now, our heartfelt thanks to everyone who has read this blog, to those who have commented and to those who have been there on the end of the phone, computer or in person when we needed them.  I will be publishing comments for those of you who wish to leave any but it is unikely that I will be adding any new posts for now.

So long, and the very best of luck in your adoption journeys.

18-Oct

Family finding:

We had feedback from our social worker regarding the meeting on the 13th.  They liked us very much indeed but felt that the other couple had more experience of a medical issue than we did, so they have gone with them.  They have said that they have a group of children who are likely to be available for adoption in the new year and would like to consider us for them.  Our social worker said she would bear it in mine.  There is, after all a long period of time between now and then where anything can happen.  Our social worker has given us details of another set of children and would like to visit us on the 30th October.  This is one of the social workers that we sent our profile out to, so it obviously works!  Mungo is reading the paperwork right now and Mary had already formed an opinion as to what she woudl like to do.  I think our social worker feels that it may be too soon after this last knockback and she feels that maybe we are just going with each of these meetings because they have been requested rather than because we like the children.  So we need to think carefully about what we are going to do next.

So to recap: Group one - meeting on 30th October.  Group two - family finding underway mid November.  Group three - family finding to start in January. 

Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - half way through number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - passed with a Distiction - yayyy!

Mungo's courses: M255 (Java Programming) – fourth and final assignment score was a massive 94%!!!  Well done Mungo!  The exam date was 14th October - awaiting result.  MT264 (Designing Applications With Visual Basic) – course started 3rd October.

Blog Action Day

http://www.blogactionday.org/

Because this is not related to the theme of this blog I won't be discussing the topic on this blog.  However, I do feel it is an important issue, so have dedicated this post to it.  Thanks to Roo for highlighting it.

Michael Buble - Haven't met you yet

Sent to me by a very caring and considerate person: joansetter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyOLT7MCNZs

I’m not surprised
Not everything lasts
I’ve broken my heart so many times,
I stop keeping track.
Talk myself in
I talk myself out
I get all worked up
And then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid that I’ll get so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
Mmmm....

I might have to wait
I’ll never give up
I guess it's half timing
And the other half's luck
Wherever you are
Whenever it's right
You come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility
Mmmm......

And somehow I know that it will all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid I’ll get so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

They say all's fair
And in love and war
But I won't need to fight it
We'll get it right
And we'll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility
Mmmm.....

And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I’ll work to work it out
Promise you kid I’ll get more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to get so much more than I get
Yeah I just haven't met you yet

I just haven't met you yet
Oh promise you kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love, love, love, love.....
I just haven't met you yet
Love, love, love.....
I just haven't met you yet
 

13-Oct to 19-Oct

Family finding:
Sorry for no update last week.  Mary chased up the online group again, after having seen them in one of the paper publications.  Apparently they are to start family finding in November so we wait again.  On Friday (9th) we went to a family-finding event where local authorities advertise children that they are unable to place.  We saw four groups that we were interested in and narrowed it down to one group; we gave our social worker their details.  We have agreed to wait until after the outcome of the social worker meeting on Tuesday (13th) before we decide whether to progress them.

Camping update:  we camped in our back garden and it was brilliant.  We pretended we were in a camp site and we set everything up and cooked meals and washed up, etc.  It was great fun!  We found that we didn't need the dustpan and brush that Mary had packed but we did need the wardrobe / shelf unit that Mungo said we didn't need and we needed another table that neither of us thought we would need. So we were both pleased all in all, if a little achey the next morning!  We also realised that double glazing is worth every penny - we thought our little estate was quiet but the traffic and general noises were really loud!  The weather was lovely, it rained a bit in the morning for about 20 minutes or so, and then it cleared up into a beautiful day.

13-Oct: After Mary spent days turning the house practically upside-down re-arranging the upstairs rooms and freecycling all our junk we were ready to face the next set of social workers.  They are interviewing us about a sibling group of two: a girl and boy.  Ding ding!  Round Three!  They arrived and asked who the main carer was going to be; when Mary said it was her they asked her all the questions and didn't ask Mungo a single one all the way through!  Our social worker commented that it was unusual and we noticed it too.  We shared answering the question and asking our own questions together, but still they directed all the questions at Mary!  Really weird!  It did make Mary feel uncomfortable and very nervous at first.  We answered all their questions and felt very happy with our answers.  We showed them around the house and expained how the rooms would work out if birth mum had another child and we agreed to take it on.  They seemed to like us, however, it's a competitive link, which means another couple have also been interviewed.  This means that even though the like us, they may not like us as much as the others.  Or should I say that we may not have more to offer the chilren than the others AND what we / they have to offer may not be the best that the social workers think they can find for the children.  They may turn both of us down and carry on looking!  When they left we felt that we had done the very best we could and our social worker was very pleased with us too.  They have a meeting on Thursday and we are expecting to hear in the afternoon.  Only one more sleep and several more agonising hours waiting then!

Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - half way through number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - passed with a Distinction - yayyy!
Mungo's courses: M255 (Java Programming) – fourth and final assignment score was a massive 94%!!!  Well done Mungo!  The exam date is 14th October - Mungo is sitting the exam as Mary types!  MT264 (Designing Applications With Visual Basic) – course started 3rd October.

29-Sep to 05-Oct

Family finding:
Sorry for no contact lately; we have been busy and Mary is feeling a bit deflated with it all, having a hard time and feeling like the stuffing has been knocked out of her.  We are going to ring our social worker on Wednesday or Thursday if we have heard nothing from her.  Mary has been chasing up some of those seven original proactive leads.  Two are dead leads as the children have been linked.  One has had no contact at all and we have decided not to continue.  One has had the original email opened but nothing further, we probably won't go with that one either.  The other three our social worker has received / swapped paperwork on.  An eighth group we saw on the online version of the publication had contacted us in early September to say they will start family-finding in a couple of weeks.

So in the mean time we have started two projects: 1)  A greenhouse / lean-to which we will buy and put up over the winter, when we have tidied up the garden and 2)  Camping!  Yes we have bought a load of stuff to go with the tent and the weekend after next we are going to do a dry run in the back garden!

01-Oct:  We received a phone call this morning from our social worker about the sibling group of two that she had phoned us about last week.  Their social workers want to meet us on the 13th October; they are also visiting another couple.  Yes we have been here three times before and every time we get the phone call a little bit less of me / us gets excited.

02-Oct:  Mary has chased up the online group as it has been more than two weeks since hearing anything.
 
Studying:
Mary's courses: Childcare, Learning and Development, NVQ Level 3 - half way through number 6 (of 10). Nutrition and Health of School Aged Children, NVQ Level 2 - sat exam on 16th September, awaiting result.
Mungo's courses: M255 (Java Programming) – awaiting the results of the fourth and final assignment; exam date is 14th October. MT264 (Designing Applications With Visual Basic) – course starts 3rd October.